God Will Give You Beauty For Ashes, A Living Testimony
As I look over my life and how far I have come today, I can honestly say that I’m in Awe, of how much I have grown.
Life is very hard sometimes, I’m sure many of us can contest to various struggles that we’ve encountered and be able to identify with the fact, that, “Life can deal you a hand that you certainly didn’t bargain for.”
You see, several years ago, I was in a detrimental relationship suffered by the hand of Domestic Violence.
Countless nights of not being able to sleep, rising early in the morning to blacked eyes, bruises and sometimes broken bones, had taken a tremendous toll over my life. It was apparent, not only from the evidence that I saw in the mirror, but the shame and humiliation that I experienced, allowing those closest to me, witness such horrific violence in my life.
Those were some of my darkest days, especially from all of the denial and justifying I sheltered myself under.
I have since then vowed to be as honest and transparent as possible when it comes to writing. I promised myself, “If I could find my niche, my deepest passion, the thing that I was actually created to do, MY PURPOSE IN LIFE, I would embrace the Gift with sincerity, integrity and honesty.”
Thankfully, I have followed in the footsteps of my passion, however, It has not been easy.
For the sake of saving anyone who may be reading this from the gory details of the physical, emotional, sexual and physiological breakdown that I incurred, I’ll just say, “Whatever you could possibly imagine not wanting to go through, I suffered!”
My life during that time was extremely hard and it is by God’s Grace and Mercy that I am here today to tell the story. And since I am, allow me to share how I was able to reach out for help and start a new life.
This was my process of growth and personal development.
One morning, after a night of being beaten to the point of despair, I decided to call the police and ask for help. I informed them that I was being abused by my mate, I was afraid for my life and I needed help.
After I made the call, I sit down on my neighbors steps and began to scream deep down inside. I believe I cried out so hard without even make an audible sound, I could feel my heart beating so fast and tears streaming through my veins, as if my human flesh was pulsating to the point of explosion.
Upon the arrival of the officers as well as the ambulance, my mind was blacked out as if I were an empty shell of existence, sitting there, hopeless, helpless and broken.
I have always been the type of person that believes, God does send angels to assist you in your time of need, so when Officer Perez looked me in the eyes and said, “Look at me, now take heed to what you’re going through, do you really need him!” I instantly took his words as the words of an angel sent by God.
As often as I had heard these words before, it wasn’t until this particular time that I actually grabbed a hold of what was being said to me. I decided to go to the hospital.
Once I arrived to the emergency room and was examined for contusions, broken bones and everything else that’s associated with Domestic Violence, a Social Worker from patient affairs came into the examination room.
I explained to her what was going on with me. I didn’t hold back any details – this was actually the final blow. I truly desired help without reservations of returning to the madness and mayhem.
After she listen with no judgmental remarks or criticism, she informed me of a Safe-House that was located about 15 miles from the hospital and I agreed to check myself in the Safe-House.
Upon my entry into the Safe-House, I was schooled for several hours about the rules and regulations, however this place was filled with staff members and residence that were caring and compassionate to my situation.
As time went by and I came to grips with the acceptance that I was a battered woman broken and needed help, I surrendered totally.
These are some of the steps that I took to help on my road to recovery, rebuilding my life and obtaining healthy personal development:
I admitted that I had a problem, to myself, God, and others who were dealing with the same issues that I was facing.
I admitted to myself that my life was in danger and mismanaged.
I allowed others to love me unconditional, without thinking that I had to put on a mask. I allow myself to be myself.
I prayed as often as I needed too, in order to allow God to come into my heart and heal my brokenness.
I began to be honest with myself and my family regarding the relationship and how I allowed it to get so out of control.
I took responsibility for compromise and the denial of truth, when it was clearly evident in my life.
I allowed God to change my heart and mind. Forgiveness became my friend.
These were very hard step for me at the time, but looking back, they were the best choices I could have ever made for my life.
Now this may have not be an experience that anyone else may have encountered, but it was certainly mine’s. Being honest with myself, helped me to recover from the darkest pit that I had ever experienced in my life. God healed my brokenness inside and out.
Today I am free to be me and I love the skin I’m in.
If this has helped anyone, or, if there is anyone suffering in silence – there is hope. God will restore you, clean you up and give you beauty for ashes. Just accept help!
This has been my personal development journey, restoration process and healing from the inside. Since God is no “respecter of persons,” if God did it for me, God can certainly do it for you.
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes,
the oil of joy for mourning,
the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
that they might be called trees of righteousness,
the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.
Isaiah 61:3 (KJV)
Blessing to all and Always Stay Encouraged.