Dealing with an abuser: Gaining strength to ask for help, Part I.
People who are affected by the behavior of an abuser deal with a whole lot. Abusive behavior takes a toll on the one who's being abused; physically, mentally, psychologically and spiritually.
Feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and self-blame flush through the victim's emotions - they never really feel peace, contentment and self worth. Stress and anxiety sit at the forefront of the victim's life, sucking out the vibrancy and resilience in their lives. Often distraught, they attempt to cope with their abusive situation, more times than not, it's virtually unbearable and nearly impossible!
My name is Shira Garnett, and I am a survivor of domestic violence. This is my story.
How could I show my face.
After countless hours of screaming and shouting and thumps and broken glass, shattered all over the house.
I had to muster up enough strength to get myself to the hospital. Although I prayed and ask the Lord to help me make it through the night, God did, however, I needed medical attention.
I couldn't breathe properly.
The morning after the beat down, I looked in the mirror with disgust, and I lifted up my shirt. I could see the whole left side of my rib cage had been completely distorted and partially deformed. This was the result of the night before.
My abuser had gone to far this time! There's was no way I could take another hit, another kick, another body slam to the floor.
I stood there.
Overwhelmed by the sight.
Nevertheless, I knew I had to get help. This time I couldn't doctor my ownself up. The pain was too great.
Looking back in complete terror, I ran down the steps, out the front door. I carried more pain at that moment then I felt when I gave birth to my daughter. Frantically, knocking on my neighbor's door, to my relief, my neighbor opened the door as if he was already waiting for me to knock.
I was certain his reaction had everything to do with the noise that came from our townhouse the night before.
He didn't ask me was I okay, he politely said, "Let me call the ambulance..."
I nodded my head, and, 15 minutes later, the Wilmington police department and the ambulance where out front of my neighbors place.
This was the beginning of a long road to healing.
As sad as it was, it took me getting 3 broken ribs, a fractured leg and arm, cuts and many abrasions before I was willing to admit to myself, I needed help to get out of my abusive situation.
Why did I allow myself to go through all that suffering and abuse?
What was it about him that made me believe, he would change?
Was my self esteem so low that I felt I needed him to feel whole and complete?
I knew the oracles of God, why wasn't I strong and wise enough to see him for who he really was?
I found out the answers to these questions and more at a Safe House called "Sarah's Place"!
"Sarah Place" is where my healing began.
Please follow through with me to Part II, where I get gut level honest about my insecurities, carnal thinking, my inability to accept life on life's terms, and most importantly, forgiving myself and my abuser.
Here are some help links for those who want and need to reach out for help in Delaware and nationally. These are the programs/organizations that helped me:
Department of Justice
Department of Justice/Emergency phone, Housing and Furniture Help
Child Inc./Sarah's House
Wilmington Police Department
YWCA
Call Your local police department. They will help you if you want it.