Let Your Love Shine!
We must always be careful that love not only live in our hearts for our spouse, but also shines through our actions.
Rejoice in the wife of your youth. … Be exhilarated always with her love.” (Prov. 5:18–19) We started dating in college and 34 years later and after 27 years of marriage he is still giving me spacey love. When he proposed to me, he got down on his knees and read his proposal from a piece of paper in French. “Je vous aimerai pour mon temps de vie ayant les yeux que pour vous s'il vous plaît soyez le mien.” (I will love you for my life time having eyes only for you please be mine.) Neither one of us speak French but born and raised in Louisiana we have a host of French speaking relatives and one of them wrote the proposal out for him. “Let your fountain be blessed,” Scripture says, “and rejoice in the wife of your youth. … Be exhilarated always with her love” (Prov. 5:18–19) Easier said than done, I must say, lol. When two people come together into a marriage covenant in the beginning they have no idea of what it means to be one flesh. Believe me both my husband and myself had some issues with the one flesh concept for the first 3 years of marriage. The first 3 years of marriage is what I call wandering in the wilderness of “me-ness (a made up word by the way) or simply me, me me, me. We were operating our marriage as if it was a partnership instead of following God’s plan of being a *soul proprietorship. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” (Matthew 10:7-8). There are those who associate the term “one flesh” with sex in the marriage. But the term one flesh encompasses so much more than the physical act of sex. It involves finding pleasure and comfort where each person cherishes each other and enjoy each other’s company.
Sadly, many couples do not know how to enjoy each other’s company because they invest their interest in career, friends, family, self and not their marriage. Yes, we all want a career, and desire to enjoy family and friends. But at the end of the day you still must make time for each other otherwise you will become bored with each other. And as I always tell young married couples who are experiencing problems beware of boredom as it is one step away from infidelity.
We both experienced boredom in our marriage around the fifth year. One day after becoming feed up with being bored with my marriage I prayed and asked God to help bring life back into our relationship. I was led to get a pencil and paper. I heard in my spirit something say, write the word LOVE in black ink and then sit and wait. I wrote it and sat there and waited the whole time wondering why God had me write this, lol. After a couple of minutes I heard an inner voice say, “Are you are still waiting for those letters to move forward and make your marriage exciting?”
Answering that inner voice I spoke out loud, “Writing and saying the words I love you does not express or show love.” Then a light turned on in my brain. I got up and started cooking. I made a beautiful meal and delicious desert. I lit candles all around our little apartment and waited for my husband to get home.
When he put the keys in door, I turned on a romantic song. He walked in and just stood there a minute in shock, for once his wife was home and not out in the streets with friends. Once he regained his composure, he closed the door and guess what he said? “Come here my beautiful Chocolate Sundae and kiss your husband as I so appreciate your expression of love.” And I have been expressing my love to him ever since in more ways than one, wink, wink. The Lord helped me that day to understand the scripture, “Let everything that you do be done with love.
1 Corinthians 16:14. God showed me that, we must always be careful that love not only live in our hearts, but also shines through our actions. So if you are having a difficult time in your marriage I have good news for you. Another day means another opportunity to make time for love and to express love. If you do not make time for love, then don’t expect love to make time for you. Love is intangible but it becomes tangible when you express it through touch, gifts, and spending time together to encourage communication and friendship.
Stop putting others before the one you love. You are first married to each other and family and friends must take a back seat to your relationship. Like Aretha Franklin said, “Now I don't mind company. Because company's alright with me every once in a while. But oh, when me and that man get to lovin' I tell you I dig you but I just don't have time to sit and chit and sit and chit-chat and smile." I love you husband as we grow old together I will give God thanks daily for each day with you for the rest of my life.