Engaging with Children
by: Minister Gail Adams
Celebrating birthdays has change a lot for us since our children are grown. Baking cakes and buying gallons of ice cream is a birthday tradition that I always kept. That is until my daughter called me from work and said, "Mom, I do not want you to bake me a cake for my birthday. I want something you use to make for us when we were little." Upon hearing her request, what registered immediately in my mind was Ecclesiastes 3:1,
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."
There is a season that parents dread and that is when our babies transition to adults. I am one of those parents. It kinda, sorta, sneaked up on me as I listened to my daughter go on and on reminiscing about her favorite childhood foods. Then abruptly someone in the background asked, "Is that your mom on the phone?"
Her answer was followed by several voices in the background yelling, " Hi mom!" "We love you mom!" "Thanks for the cardamon cookies mom!" "Those brownies were the bomb mom!" Your Youtiao Fried Dough was delicious! She requested a moment of silence and when they complied she said, "Mom, I want Sukiyaki for my birthday. Squeals of glee in the background was followed by echos of me too!
My daughter said her break was over, we expressed our love or rather they all expressed their love and she hung up. I sat there staring at the phone thinking so, it was not dad getting up in the middle of the night eating up the sweetie treats but her taking them and sharing with friends.
Getting on with my day, I got to thinking about when we first got married . Like most families, vacations for us were few and far between.
We could not afford to see the world so I brought the world to my children through cooking.
Cultural cooking played a key role in helping my children to understand that God is love and commands us to love people as well as to embrace our similarities and differences. They learned to steer clear of beliefs formed from negative judgments surrounding people's ethnicity, skin colors, and cultures.
"Love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 12:31) and "Do unto others as you would have them to do unto you," (Luke 6:31) were common sayings in our home.
I would researched recipes and purchased ingredients to make authentic cultural dishes. I purchased books on different ethnic groups and we would compare and contrast how we were more alike than different. Then I would allow them to choose a dish from that group and make it for a school lunch or family dinner.
My daughter would come home from school chirping like a little bird saying, "I shared my lunch you made from this culture or that culture with someone today and I made a new friend". Our kids friends were so diverse then as they are now. When they are together it such a wonderful and beautiful sight that I call them God's Rainbow Love Coalition.
It is amazing how children can embrace, accept, and love each for who they are but adults still struggle in their love walk having difficulty looking past the outward man.
It did my heart good to hear my daughter's request for her favorite childhood meal. Not only did the request bring back good memories but God showed me that she has not departed from the way she was trained to go.
"Train up a child the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)
You have only one opportunity to raise your child(ren). Therefore, don't fret about what you cannot do for them but do what you can with you got. Time flies and they will be adults before you know it.
My husband and I may not have been able to take our children on vacations to see the world✈️ but we showed them the world in a way to help them to value people.
They are still loving people from the inside out and not from the outside in. Praise God!
The Lord can use any gift he has given us to cultivate and demonstrate his love to others. Even cooking. Ask God to give you wisdom to use that gift he has given you to train your child(ren) up to demonstrate His love to others.
My daughter does not know it yet, but I am still going to bake her a cake. 🎂
Let all that you do be done with love. (1 Corinthians 16:14)
©February2017 Gail Adams, Beaute' Naturelle, Pamela Johnson
This was a good read, Gail. It really brought back memories. Transparent reads and life experiences, admittedly, have always been my favorite. This really touched my heart.