By: Minister Gail Adams

In this season of my life I am living with my mother n law who requires assistant living care. Believe me this is no easy feat. It requires great sacrifice, patience, and a selflessness that only comes from having a relationship with God. Let me tell you that I learned very early in the game about caregiver burnout.

I understand that God requires us to care for others but does he take into consideration the physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that comes with it? I have asked him many times is this something he called me to do. The answer I hear in my spirit is, "Honor thy mother and thy father"...... So his answer to my question is yes.

However, after leaving my family in another state to be a caregiver I began to question if I was being selfish for wanting out of this situation. At every opportunity I was murmuring and complaining about the stress involved in caretaking to my husband and anyone else who would listen. What came to mind is my many prayers telling the Lord I purpose to do his word and whatever he requires of me I will do it. Send me Lord I will go. Hmmmm.... now that he has sent me I do not wanna stay.

Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatsoever ye do, work heartily, as unto the Lord, and not unto men." Am I doing this work as unto the Lord?

I begin by asking God to forgive me for all the faultfinding, murmuring, and complaining I've been doing. God during my repentance reminded me that my husband and I as we age will also require assistance one day and we will be looking to our kids for help when that day comes.

As the Holy Spirit led me to take a fresh look at this situation I begin to realize that it is not the task at hand that has me all knotted up inside. The problem is I am reading the word of God but not properly applying it according to the circumstances. The Holy Spirit brought to my attention something Paul told the Church during his time that helped me examine myself to determine if my behavior and thoughts lined up with Jesus teachings.

Paul told the Church in, 1 Timothy 3:5, "For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how can he care for the church of God?" This verse is so versatile and can be applied for so many situations in life. In regards to my life I chose to apply it by asking myself questions and then answering those questions: Who is my mother n law to me? My mother n law is a member of my house as well as a member of the Church. What attitude does God require me to have when helping others. Basically, Jesus told us to, "Treat others the way you want to be treated." What treatment does God require me to show her while helping her? To show her love while taking care of her.

What do I need to do to accomplish this? In order to take care of her I need to take of me also. So today, I got me, myself and I on my mind.

I realized that neglecting to focus on my mental, physical and spiritual health I have burned myself out to the point that I experience fatigue, stress, anxiety, and depression. Likewise, I have been experiencing feelings of guilt when I think about spending time on me rather than on meeting her needs. No wonder I was running low on love.

It is important to take time for you when caring for others. God showed me that we need to daily love on ourselves and do things to increase our happiness then the love we have for ourselves will be transferred to others. But this can only happen when we have a loving relationship with our Creator. Then we will be able to: