by: Minister Gail Adams

😔 Sadly, I did not always think I was wonderfully and fearfully made. While growing up I always struggled with my weight. My friends were sizes 5- 7 and I was a size 12. When I got married I was a size 18. When I would complain about my weight to my husband he replied, “It is mine, all of you and I love every bit of you Chocolate Sundae, his pet name for me.” Like anyone else I experienced mockery and criticism about my body shape and size or what is known today as body shaming. Body shaming comes in two forms. The first form is mockery and criticism from others and the second form is mockery and criticism of oneself, what I call personal body shaming. I have always been pleasantly plump as they say in the south. Overtime body shaming abuse caused me to become overly concerned about what others thought of me. When this happened I tried to hide my flaws and imperfections. I developed a fear of walking in front of people especially men, because some men are blatantly rude to women whom they deem fat. Eventually, I began to mock and criticize myself at every turn to the point that I hated looking at myself. This personal-body shaming degrading spilled over into my marriage.

😯 One day my husband seeing my discomfort about my weight pulled me onto his lap. I quickly stood up complaining that I was too heavy. Firmly sitting me back on his lap he said, “I am the man, not you.” 💪 Humph, I replied turning my face away.

Turning my face to his he looked into my eyes and said, “My Wife, you do not have to live up to what the world deems as the perfect size. You do not have to address others whom attribute laziness as the reason for your pleasantly plumpness. I see you dieting and exercising daily. Just like God did not make everyone the same skin color, he did not intend for everyone to be skinny, or have the same body size, Chocolate. If God whom we serve and believe in see beauty in variety than I do not give a dam what others think about us. You are unique and there is only one like you and you belong to me.” “Husband how you can love these fat arms!!?” “Chocolate, like I love myself, that is you, unconditionally”. “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:28).

While I continued my fat bashing personal body shaming antic my husband quietly listened. When he got enough of hearing my complaints, he silenced me placing his fingers on my lips and asked, “Did you not just hear what I said?

"Whatever size you are I am going to love you, my one flesh, wife and mother of our children. When others speak negative about you they are talking about me. I am you and you are me. "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23). “Do I care what others say?” No, Husband, I quietly replied. ”Then sparkle at whatever size you are.” Know that you are loved by me like Christ love the Church.

As I have gotten older my understanding of Psalm 139:4 have increased. What I have learned is you can truly praise God when you are comfortable in your soul and body absent of what others think of you. Ever since that conversation with my husband I have come to accept me for whom I am.

At least I thought I was sparkling until I saw a video by a good friend here in Google Plus. Anika Jones recently uploaded a video about her personal struggle with hair loss due to Alopecia called, Goodbye Shame. While viewing her video I realized that I was still ashamed of my fat arms. God used her video testimony on courage to encourage me to come to terms with the remnants of shame that was hiding in my heart. As a result, I have come to accept that fat arms are part of my family genetics. Love it or hate it, I am stuck with them even after doing everything to get rid of them, including surgery. I will have to continue to deal with little kids coming up to me from time to time who feel compel to touch and jiggle my arms and lay their heads on them cooing out loud they are so soft, or my pillow. My husband 😅 cracks up every time it happens as the kids fall instantly in love with my 😍arms clinging to them not wanting to let go, much to their parents’ embarrassment. I now accept and love all of me including my arms saying, “Lord, I praise you for I am wonderfully and fearfully made”.

If you are struggling with a body part you consider a flaw and are ashamed

remember, despite what others think of you or what you think of yourself, it is what God thinks of you that really matters. So be free from the strong hold of body shaming today.

My prayer always is that we continue to grow in grace, truth, wisdom and walk in love towards one another. Help others benefit from this truth by sharing this message! God bless you.

Copyright: Pamela Johnson, Beaute Naturelle, Minister Gail Adams